A 'RIO'LITY CHECK

                                                  A 'RIO'LITY CHECK!

                 The Olympics are done and dusted and the Indian contingent has returned home with what is perceived to be a below par performance. The few bright spots in an otherwise tepid performance are being wooed,feted and celebrated as though there is no tomorrow.Victory marches, offers of jobs, houses, land, vehicles  and endorsements are being heaped on a few chosen ones. Now don't get me wrong.. Sindhu, Dipa, and Sakshi deserve a lot of praise because they have performed extremely well,  not because of our systems but despite it.
               Everybody who is anybody is desperate to associate their names with the three young women .Our news hungry media runs around unearthing even their 3rd grade teachers who talk about how they knew the child was destined to greatness.. just by the way she sat in class! The parents of these girls are pulled out of obscurity and almost paraded looking shy and uncomfortable at the absolutely asinine questions being hurled at them. Every thing from her diet to her favourite colour is the breaking news.
             Not to be left behind, other present and former players of all other sports too are asked to give their expert advice on why is it that these young girls succeeded. And they all happily oblige as , after all , it is publicity for them. All of this frenzy will go on for a few days until it peters off or until the next little big story comes along and  all the above have had their little moments in the Sun.
What is it that happens after all the hue and cry has gone down, as let me assure you it will? Are these athletes given all that is promised to them? I am afraid not, if the past experiences are anything to go by. We hear of the promises given after the earlier Games ignored, delayed and even forgotten once the athletes drop off from the front pages or fade from the screen.  A lucky photogenic, glamorous, few will be seen in ads promoting anything and everything.. From slippers to Club Soda!
             But what of the other sportspersons who were also at Rio? Where are they ? Why is it that no one hears about them? Well it is probably because they are deemed to have failed as they did not win any medals or did not even come close to it. They went to Rio in obscurity facing hurdles and obstacles and have come back to a life of obscurity and will have to, if they still have the will, energy and grit, to repeat the process all over again in the hope that they too can get that elusive medal that would be their passports to a better future.
              Ministries, PSUs, Corporates, State Governments and business tycoons have promised huge rewards for our successful trio. But where is the money to create and nurture many more such successes? Though there is no dearth of funding why does it not go into helping talents train ? Why is it that every one wants to hitch their wagons to a star but have not done anything to enable the star to shine ? Why have we not created enough facilities for our future stars to train and why hasn't any  Corporate or PSU announced that they will be sponsoring either the equipment or facility to help athletes to start training for the next Olympics?  Why do the funds go instead to making sure that the administrators and officials can travel, shop and roam the world in style?
             I am not saying anything new or sensational here. Many have expressed such views. My only hope is that if more of us speak out our voices would get loud enough for it to penetrate the delusion and entitlement infused psyche of all those who can but choose not to make a difference. So let us all not sit in our comfortable armchairs and berate the pathetic state of our sports. Let us all try to improve the conditions, create more training facilities, rid the selection system of corruption and above all make sure that at least in the future no athlete will have to plead for her shoes, his equipment and above all for a little water during their events!!

BUT THEN.. WE ARE SECULAR !!

But then... We are secular!!

 News about intolerances about every religious group against every other religious groups is thrown at us every moment of every day. Shrill hysterical screeching sound about what the government..any and whichever government is in power..  has not done right and the equally loud cacophony in the counters about what has been done to keep our country ' secular' are shoved into our faces and almost shatter our eardrums. There is no agreement among the various factions about any issue and we are striated and fragmented on religious, caste, language, class grounds on every event and nonevent!

   But.. I disagree! WE ARE VERY VERY SECULAR !! Wait.. Before you disagree with me and think I am delusional , hear me out..please??

  We are very secular when it comes to our opinions about  women. Every group, religious or social, has  decided that women do not deserve even the basic courtesy and privacy and are fair game to every marauding scum. They are all unanimous in hollering that any woman who is molested or raped deserved it because of what she wore or who she was with or where she was. They are unanimous in decrying that it was always the woman's fault and if she did not behave like a combination of Sita, Mother Mary and all the various pious women glorified by all religions she asked to be violated. See.. We are secular.

We are very secular in the way we discriminate against  the have nots. They deserve what they get , the secular say. They are lazy and do not have to be treated well we reason. The rich get richer, the poor are poorer, and no matter which religion we belong to we are united in shoving our heads into the sand like an ostrich. Yes, we most certainly are secular.

Religion is never a barrier in denying education , food and basic health care to our girls. We all agree that they are second class citizens and thumb our noses at any law or tenet which says otherwise. Whichever faith we belong to , we look at our daughters as burdens and celebrate when boys are born. Who says we are not secular?? Do we not all agree on this??

We all, unanimously and collectively try to suppress the voices of reason in our midst. A young girl is killed because she tries to break the stranglehold of a maulvi. A writer is harassed because he writes about the ills of certain temple customs. A movie is banned because it dares to question or interpret differently the version put forth in the Bible..Ahh .. Why not? Are we not secular?. We can question anything that deviates even a teeny weeny bit from what is familiarly comfortable! After all that is the reward of being secular.

We never look at our religions when we ask for dowry, ill treat our old and infirm, litter on the roads, destroy our environment, cheat, bribe, piddle on the road, not wear helmets, pass by a destitute Uncaringly. We very easily point a finger at another faith when all of us, regardless of which faith we subscribe to, do the same..

We are two faced. We are hypocrites. We are diabolically delusional... But then we very proudly say that WE ARE SECULAR!!

The Sea, the scar and the gift of Life!

THE SEA , THE SCAR AND THE GIFT OF LIFE,!

It's been ten years since the dreaded waves hit! While life has gone on and lot has happened since, mostly good, any thought or talk of the Tsunami always brings with it thoughts of .. What if?? Every time I look at the sea ..every single time in the last Ten years I have never escaped thinking of the day when we were in Hikkadua, Sri Lanka ..with  family to celebrate my husbands 50 th, ..our resort was devastated  by the waves that crashed into our lives! The waves may have receded but the destruction they caused was not to property and life alone.. The waves have etched themselves indelibly in my mind and heart and I am sure in all of us who were there that day.. Ten years ago!
Every time I see waves I cannot but recall the swell of the sea , gradually , ominously (in perspective) building up while we were enjoying a leisurely breakfast on the beach, talking about friends, relatives, world affairs and ironically even about the tsunami scare in Australia the newspapers had reported about..not knowing that in a matter of minutes we would be living that experience.
I can never forget the sound of the Tsunami waves made as they crashed into our lives! So much so that every time a heavy duty fan starts up I get startled and go back to that day.
I can never forget the muddy, grimy, grey almost opaque colour of the water that rushed into our room and with vicious force uprooted furniture, luggage and hurled us up to the ceiling.. Clutching on to sinking pieces of furniture to stay afloat.
I can never forget the feel of the water..gritty , slimy, oily, with so much of floating stuff in it that when we were trying to swim to the other side of the room to try and get out, our feet kept getting entangled in...well no one knows what!!
I can never forget the vision and the feel and the sound of the wave as it receded from our room, sucking out furniture, our luggage, luckily leaving back the heavy bed floating as it was too big to be sucked out of the bay windows... Giving us a lifeline to hold on to .. To avoid being pulled into the sea and become yet another number in the huge list of casualties.
I can never forget the sharp pain I felt on my arm.. too trivial at that time, but a wound the scar of which I still carry on my left arm..
That to me is the most potent reminder of how easily it all could have ended..a scar that keeps me ever thankful for being alive.. The difference between life and death is a nano second.. And during the Tsunami I experienced it!!
Ten years back ,it took me almost twenty days to be able to sleep ,so haunted was I by the thoughts of what could have been!! I then needed to purge or exorcise the demons out of my mind... It all came pouring out in the way I know best...in words.

Thoughts of destruction haunt me,
The spectre of death seems within my grasp.
The mind floods with dark memories,
Like the muddy churning of the sea..

I see death flashing before my eyes.
The relentless shutter comes crashing down
Imprisoning the torturing emotions,
Trapping the haunting sound of cries.

Fears about loved ones suffocate me,
Holding my heart in a strong tightening vice.
Visions of deep despair float by,
Emotions of dread will not let be.

I need to escape from the strife,
When will the drowning darkness release me?
When can I breathe fresh air,
I need to get on with my life.

That was ten years ago. Time is a wonderful healer.. But every time I see the sea, glance at my scar, I always do think of what could have been... But almost immediately I also thing of what is and how lucky I am  to be alive and having got a second life and my scar ...a gift specially for me from the sea!!

HOW DARE THEY.

HOW DARE THEY !! 


              This month marks the tenth year Anniversary of the dreaded Tsunami that took hundreds of lives and created havoc and mayhem in the lives of thousands of people who lived or had visited the coastal areas during the Christmas break. We , the three of us and seven family members were at Sri Lanka when the dreaded waves crashed into our resort and annihilated the property. We were incredibly lucky and, as my husband stated to a friend... Ten of us went and ten of us returned!! That expressed a wealth of gratitude to call it God or any Force or even Nature for having spared all of us! Though time has blunted , to some extent the 'punch in the solar plexus ' raw wave of sheer terror of the experience, I can never forget the utter fear and dread we felt as we could not immediately locate our daughter, Shruti! It is a feeling that will remain with me all my life and no words can describe the unadulterated relief and joy of finding her safe, with her grandmother, aunts, uncle and cousins !!
         It took me months to heal and soothe the trauma of the experience. The sea became my adversary and I internally berated Nature for being so heartless and ruthless.. It took me time to realise that Nature did not have a heart, a soul or any other emotion that singled out a human being from the rest of creation. It was a force, a law ,as it were, into itself... We harm it, it fights back not discriminating between the innocents and the perpetrators! It can be more destructive than an army but it does not discriminate!! Nature can flatten out your life but then it is a external entity we have no control over.

         What, however , has been consuming me the last few days was the mindless massacre of innocents in Peshawar... Why?? What did the poor children do to deserve being mowed down by terrorists?? What did the parents of the children do to deserve to feel the sheer grief at the loss of their children?? Many of my friends have written about it, expressed their angst at this inhuman dastardly act of a few who DARED to call it collateral damage and dared to justify their actions and dared to take credit for the slaughter.. 
    I was not able to find words to express the sheer rage that built up inside me.. The empathy I felt with the poor parents of those unfortunate children. I know what I felt ten years ago when for all of fifteen minutes I could not find my daughter after the waves hit. I can only think of how much grief they must be feeling knowing that they sent their children off to school with hope for their future.. Made plans for the rest of the day and the rest of their lives.. Only to have it all taken away by lowlife scum who DARE to presume logic in their actions. And I am also wild at all those who dare to express that because it has happened across the border it was bound to happen and that now they will realise what it is to be victims of terror!! How can humans be so callous and still presume that they have the right to be called human!

     My rants may just remain that !  Rants..  But it is time we realise that we are humans with the privileges of heart, mind, intelligence, and soul ! We cannot act as though we are not accountable! No one gives us the mandate to destroy life or property of others!
     A tsunami cannot be explained !! Such acts of terror Should Not Be Explained away!! 

NONE OF US HAVE THE RIGHT TO PRESUME OUR IDEOLOGY  OR BELIEFS OR RELIGION GIVES US THE AUTHORITY TO TAKE THE LIVES OF INNOCENTS,!!
R.I.P.   Little ones ... My heart bleeds for you!!

NOW YOU DONT SEE IT.

Once upon a time , not so very long long ago I used to groggily reach for my newspaper in the morning and begin what I called my ritual... A quick look at the headlines of The Hindu, turn to the sports page to glance at the happenings in the world of cricket,football, tennis, F1 racing. That done I would glance at the happenings and Editorial page. Then I would turn my attention to 2 other newspapers- The Indian Express and the Times Of India and repeat the same ritual. One of these newspapers would always be my loo companion while one was for my morning cuppa!

Newspaper reading brought with it a whole sensory experience with the smell,  the touch and the feel of the paper as much an experience as the matter it communicated. 

Today I am an extremely frustrated reader! What greets me in the morning is not the news but the assinine smile of a 20 something trying to sell me -- who cares what! Goodwill is certainly not one of them.
It all began innocuously enough. It was a big ad in the front page. Well, I did not like it but it was ok.. They had to sell papers and the ad revenue helped them. I consoled myself with the thought that otherwise I would be required to shell out more.. But it did not stop there! The front page ads became larger and larger, like a pimple on a poor teenagers face till it was forcing my eyes to morbidly focus only on -to me it's obscene- the ad. It really does not matter what the ad is about. It is a pretender, taking away from something I hold sacred- my news.

This ad phenomena seems to have become an universal disease with all the news papers succumbing to the lure of the lucre.. To think that earlier whenever I used to travel abroad I used to taken aback at a news format that allowed more ad gibberish and much less substance_ so much so that I had to hunt hard for a scrap of news. Today the news empire has struck back and our Indian publications have joined the merry band of sell outs!!

Well, I know we live in a commercial world and all need to serve the money God's. .But a sincere appeal _ please, please give me back my old newspapers! Let me connect to the world in my own way and not be brainwashed by about what jewellery to buy or what coffee to drink. 

I do not want to defect to digital reading..so please do not force me!!

OF LISTS AND LOVE AFFAIRS!

Of lists and love affairs!!

I have been tagged by a few people to put up a list of ten books that have influenced me in any way. Oh boy! Did the create the biggest conflict in my mind..TEN books?? Are you kidding?? How could I encapsulate  almost fifty years of reading into a list of  a measly ten.. I did start.. But soon started feelin so guilty.. If I included one book I could almost feel the accusatory stare of another book, almost to say... How could you leave me out!! Wow!! I stopped after a while as I started to feel like a two.. three or even multiple timing woman who is trying to juggle many lovers!!! That is when it just dawned on me .... Books have been the longest standing love affair(s) of my life. And each book a new affair, a new adventure which has always brought with it hours of joy, involvement and left me feeling happy, and satisfied- but always wanting more!

My real initiation into this magic world began when I read The Sea Of Adventure by Enid Blyton. Not the best of her books but for me it opened up a 'brave New world' ... The entire series of Famous Five, Secret Seven, Mallory Tower,st. Claires and well ALL the books written by her followed. Stepped into the fabulous English countryside, a world of scones, preserves and ...even the bread and cheese was like a gourmet meal. The books always left me hungry for more.... Food and books!!
The Nancy Drew series, The Hardy Boys series, Billy Bunter  adventures all followed... The only consistent factor being that once I started on one , would not rest until I had read them all!!

The next phase of involvement began with Georgette Heyers, Earle Stanley Gardener, Alistair Maclean and the I can read them 100 times and not get bored Agatha Christie and PGWodehouse.. It brought in intrigue , humour, legal drama and the entry into the most wonderful wordscapes. I, then discovered the whacky wonderfully wicked and delightful world of William through Richmal Cromptons William series.....and so great was/is my love that ,at a later date, I bought all the William books. That was not all.. I got involved with the complicatedly complex mind maze of Sherlock Holmes, was mesmerised by the lonely but magnetic heroes of Ann Rynd. Which in turn turned me to the classics... Jane Eyre, novels of Jane Austen, Bronte sisters, Charles Dickens..... Too, too many to list out. That is why it is such a trauma to make a list..

I realised that it did not matter what I read. From the lowly Mills and Boons to the exalted world of Greek Tragedies , I never discriminated. Each on of my 'affairs' brought something special to my life and I will be eternally grateful to them for it. Books and reading for me have always been more of a sensory experience! The smell of books,fresh and musty, the touch of pages turning and the decadence of a stack of unread books, the visual delight of the different fonts, the sound of music as I picked up and put down a book..... It was and is one of the most all encompassing experiences!
Reading has always consumed me. A book in my hand and anyone can get me to do just about anything... As long as I continued to read!!

Over the years, I realise that my books and I have fallen into a comfortable routine - like old lovers. There is no longer the urgency to spend every minute with a book..there is enough time for other interests and loves.. There are always a stack of unread books with me... It is my silent companion, never demanding, never intrusive and always there when I need to de stress and escape..

So my friends who have tagged me in the book list challenge, this post is especially for you. And Ananth, my love, thank you for never competing and letting me have forever, my first, sweet, sweet love!!

Looking through the Warped Glass

Looking through the Warped Glass!

Reading the article 'Throw like a girl' by Eric Anthamatten got me thinking of the number of times all of us, women and men, have fallen prey to stereotypes and preconceived notions.   How often as a child I was rebuked by my grandmom about the perceived lack of decorum in the way I sat, told about not sitting very close to a boy while we were playing, not laughing too loudly... Mind you this was during our yearly visits to Madras or the time she used to visit and I was all of 7/8 years old. Even though I was brought up in a very liberal home, my father, despairing of what he thought was my very masculine walk, asked me to walk behind my mother so that I could emulate her ' feminine' walk. He, though never saw or treated me differently than my brother, also was a victim to gender stereotyping without even realising it.
The nuns from my school were always trying to instil in us the 'proper' habits.. Sit with legs together, hands must be on your knees, smile but do not grin,laughing loudly is a sign of bad upbringing!! Gosh!! All the nuns I was taught by would be truly and thoroughly horrified by me today.
Sports has never been free of this divide. During the days when Martina Navratilova was knocking the stuffing out of her opponents many, especially men, when they condescended to comment about women in a 'mans' game, preferred Christ Evert as she was pretty,dainty and showed off pretty lacy panties when she played, while Martina was muscly, tough and played strong. The sad part is that when everyone stereotyped, they were doing gross injustice not only to Navratilova but also to Christ Evert, who far all her daintiness played a wonderful game!! Sad she will be remembered as the player in the lace panties!
At work too it is not very different, even though all of us get into the 'ostrich' syndrome of pretending all is well. Subtle and not at all subtle notions are applied in the way women are treated. It's either downright writing off a women as an intellectual lightweight or it is the condescending 'little woman' treatment. When will we ever learn to treat each person as that person and not superimpose our ideas of what the person should be and stop either vilifying or deifying.
What is it in us that we get insecure if we cannot slot a person into a pre prepared mould. A woman does not like to cook? What women behaves like that!! A guy likes to cook? Must be gay! And then look at our advertisements. There is so much analysis about the recent Airtel or Aircel ad where a women boss is shown going home and cooking for her husband. Reactions from women and men astounded me. Every reaction came from a position of what was perceived as the designated roles! It was just an ad, a clever one at that. Let us worry about child abuse, young girls being tortured, and many other important issues. Not about whether the women in the ad should have cooked or not!
Where does this labelling stop?? A short haired women should be drinking . If she drinks she should be a non vegetarian . If she is modern she will not cook.Because she does not cook her family must be either starving or unhealthy. When do we stop looking at people through gender imposed glasses?
I think it is time to stop this nonsense!! LET PEOPLE BE!!
I leave you with another one of my little poems written around 25 years ago... Much before Nike thought of this tag line...
                                  I am what I am.
                                  I cannot be
                                  what you want
                                  me to be.

                                  Leave me as I am.
                                  I cannot be,
                                  your image,
                                  living as me.

Stop Stereotyping! Leave be!