Looking through the Warped Glass!
Reading the article 'Throw like a girl' by Eric Anthamatten got me thinking of the number of times all of us, women and men, have fallen prey to stereotypes and preconceived notions. How often as a child I was rebuked by my grandmom about the perceived lack of decorum in the way I sat, told about not sitting very close to a boy while we were playing, not laughing too loudly... Mind you this was during our yearly visits to Madras or the time she used to visit and I was all of 7/8 years old. Even though I was brought up in a very liberal home, my father, despairing of what he thought was my very masculine walk, asked me to walk behind my mother so that I could emulate her ' feminine' walk. He, though never saw or treated me differently than my brother, also was a victim to gender stereotyping without even realising it.
The nuns from my school were always trying to instil in us the 'proper' habits.. Sit with legs together, hands must be on your knees, smile but do not grin,laughing loudly is a sign of bad upbringing!! Gosh!! All the nuns I was taught by would be truly and thoroughly horrified by me today.
Sports has never been free of this divide. During the days when Martina Navratilova was knocking the stuffing out of her opponents many, especially men, when they condescended to comment about women in a 'mans' game, preferred Christ Evert as she was pretty,dainty and showed off pretty lacy panties when she played, while Martina was muscly, tough and played strong. The sad part is that when everyone stereotyped, they were doing gross injustice not only to Navratilova but also to Christ Evert, who far all her daintiness played a wonderful game!! Sad she will be remembered as the player in the lace panties!
At work too it is not very different, even though all of us get into the 'ostrich' syndrome of pretending all is well. Subtle and not at all subtle notions are applied in the way women are treated. It's either downright writing off a women as an intellectual lightweight or it is the condescending 'little woman' treatment. When will we ever learn to treat each person as that person and not superimpose our ideas of what the person should be and stop either vilifying or deifying.
What is it in us that we get insecure if we cannot slot a person into a pre prepared mould. A woman does not like to cook? What women behaves like that!! A guy likes to cook? Must be gay! And then look at our advertisements. There is so much analysis about the recent Airtel or Aircel ad where a women boss is shown going home and cooking for her husband. Reactions from women and men astounded me. Every reaction came from a position of what was perceived as the designated roles! It was just an ad, a clever one at that. Let us worry about child abuse, young girls being tortured, and many other important issues. Not about whether the women in the ad should have cooked or not!
Where does this labelling stop?? A short haired women should be drinking . If she drinks she should be a non vegetarian . If she is modern she will not cook.Because she does not cook her family must be either starving or unhealthy. When do we stop looking at people through gender imposed glasses?
I think it is time to stop this nonsense!! LET PEOPLE BE!!
I leave you with another one of my little poems written around 25 years ago... Much before Nike thought of this tag line...
I am what I am.
I cannot be
what you want
me to be.
Leave me as I am.
I cannot be,
your image,
living as me.
Stop Stereotyping! Leave be!
Reading the article 'Throw like a girl' by Eric Anthamatten got me thinking of the number of times all of us, women and men, have fallen prey to stereotypes and preconceived notions. How often as a child I was rebuked by my grandmom about the perceived lack of decorum in the way I sat, told about not sitting very close to a boy while we were playing, not laughing too loudly... Mind you this was during our yearly visits to Madras or the time she used to visit and I was all of 7/8 years old. Even though I was brought up in a very liberal home, my father, despairing of what he thought was my very masculine walk, asked me to walk behind my mother so that I could emulate her ' feminine' walk. He, though never saw or treated me differently than my brother, also was a victim to gender stereotyping without even realising it.
The nuns from my school were always trying to instil in us the 'proper' habits.. Sit with legs together, hands must be on your knees, smile but do not grin,laughing loudly is a sign of bad upbringing!! Gosh!! All the nuns I was taught by would be truly and thoroughly horrified by me today.
Sports has never been free of this divide. During the days when Martina Navratilova was knocking the stuffing out of her opponents many, especially men, when they condescended to comment about women in a 'mans' game, preferred Christ Evert as she was pretty,dainty and showed off pretty lacy panties when she played, while Martina was muscly, tough and played strong. The sad part is that when everyone stereotyped, they were doing gross injustice not only to Navratilova but also to Christ Evert, who far all her daintiness played a wonderful game!! Sad she will be remembered as the player in the lace panties!
At work too it is not very different, even though all of us get into the 'ostrich' syndrome of pretending all is well. Subtle and not at all subtle notions are applied in the way women are treated. It's either downright writing off a women as an intellectual lightweight or it is the condescending 'little woman' treatment. When will we ever learn to treat each person as that person and not superimpose our ideas of what the person should be and stop either vilifying or deifying.
What is it in us that we get insecure if we cannot slot a person into a pre prepared mould. A woman does not like to cook? What women behaves like that!! A guy likes to cook? Must be gay! And then look at our advertisements. There is so much analysis about the recent Airtel or Aircel ad where a women boss is shown going home and cooking for her husband. Reactions from women and men astounded me. Every reaction came from a position of what was perceived as the designated roles! It was just an ad, a clever one at that. Let us worry about child abuse, young girls being tortured, and many other important issues. Not about whether the women in the ad should have cooked or not!
Where does this labelling stop?? A short haired women should be drinking . If she drinks she should be a non vegetarian . If she is modern she will not cook.Because she does not cook her family must be either starving or unhealthy. When do we stop looking at people through gender imposed glasses?
I think it is time to stop this nonsense!! LET PEOPLE BE!!
I leave you with another one of my little poems written around 25 years ago... Much before Nike thought of this tag line...
I am what I am.
I cannot be
what you want
me to be.
Leave me as I am.
I cannot be,
your image,
living as me.
Stop Stereotyping! Leave be!
